I always thought that when my kids grew up, being a Mom would get easier. Nothing could be further from the truth.
The issues get more complicated and the "Momisims" don't work quite as well.
Hugs and kisses can't make the hurt go away, and milk and cookies don't bring the smiles back on the face. And when they walk out the door, you know they won't be back in an hour or so with grass stained pants and mud in their hair.
My grown son has just gone through kidney cancer. According to the reports he is in the "curative" (if that is a word) stage, since the cancer was contained in the kidney that was removed and the "margins were negative."
I sat next to him after his surgery, trying to remember what I have learned over the years about how to get in and out of the hospital bed, how to hug the pillow over your stomach when you cough or sneeze, and how not to hover too much. (Wasn't real good at that last one.)
I sat next to him as he received the pathology report over the phone a few days later. I watched him as he started to shake and tears spring to his eyes as he was told that it was, as expected, cancer. I held his hand and watched him quietly come to terms with what he had just heard.
I know from experience that when you hear that "C" word, all senses shut down and nothing else can penetrate the white hot fear that takes over your body.
He could not focus on the fact that he would not have to go through any of the horrible treatments that most cancer survivors must, or the fact that all of the other tests were normal. That was my job. My job was to repeat and repeat the good news. Repeat again and again, as I had done when he was a child, that the fear will abate, and the realization that he was going to be ok would sink in.
That's what Moms do, we hug, cry and try to kiss away the monsters, bake brownies, even spend the $5.00 on the Caramel Macchiato at Starbucks; whatever it takes.
But most of all, we Moms spend a lot of time praying.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
HAPPY HALLOWEEN
I love Halloween. I'm really not sure why, but I have always loved the costumes, the trick or treating, the feel of autumn with the cool nip in the air and the crunch of the leaves under my feet.
I remember my most favorite costume was a beautiful princess dress, with layers and layers of crinoline. I remember a beautiful tiara and cute little shoes. I don't know what happened to that dress, I just remember I had never worn anything quite so wonderful. I remember how for a couple hours, I could be a princess.
I remember trick-or-treating on nights so cold we needed heavy coats, and nights so warm we were sweating in our masks.
We never saw the horror side of Halloween. But I was aware that it could be just on the next block, or around the next corner.
My son's favorite holiday is Halloween (if Halloween is a holiday). Maybe it was because he was due on Halloween. He's always been a bit of a Devil.
When he was little we didn't have money for elaborate costumes, but he was always in a great get-up. Once he was a hobo. He had a pair of jeans that were just too short enough and a plaid shirt, face make-up to perfection. I have to smile every time I see that picture. He loved that costume.
Then there was the time when he was a teen-ager and had been invited to a Halloween Party. I remember asking him repeatedly if it was a costume party. His answer was an emphatic "Yes, Mom". We worked for hours on his face make-up. He was the best Grimm Reaper at the party. In fact, he was the only Grimm Reaper at the party. Oh, and he was the only one in costume at the party. But it was a great costume.
One year he sat in the rocking chair on the front porch of our house in Virginia, and dressed in some elaborate costume, waited quietly until the kids came to the door and then proceeded to scare the beegeebees out of them. We had such fun that night. (disclaimer: no children were hurt in the elaborate production)
Our sons are now grown and live in distant states with their children. I know we will see many pictures of our grand kids happily scouring the neighborhoods for candy, but it will not be the same as having them approach the door, showing off their "bestest" costume, knowing that Grandmommy and Grandaddy will have something special for them.
We now live in a community where the little trick-or-treaters do not come. Halloween is a little sad for me. I sit with my witches hat on, a pour of cider in my wine glass and look at my plastic pumpkin candy dish just sitting on the counter, waiting for a little hand to reach in to see what treasures it might hold.
Oh well, more Snickers for me :).................. and where is that bottle of wine?
I remember my most favorite costume was a beautiful princess dress, with layers and layers of crinoline. I remember a beautiful tiara and cute little shoes. I don't know what happened to that dress, I just remember I had never worn anything quite so wonderful. I remember how for a couple hours, I could be a princess.
I remember trick-or-treating on nights so cold we needed heavy coats, and nights so warm we were sweating in our masks.
We never saw the horror side of Halloween. But I was aware that it could be just on the next block, or around the next corner.
My son's favorite holiday is Halloween (if Halloween is a holiday). Maybe it was because he was due on Halloween. He's always been a bit of a Devil.
When he was little we didn't have money for elaborate costumes, but he was always in a great get-up. Once he was a hobo. He had a pair of jeans that were just too short enough and a plaid shirt, face make-up to perfection. I have to smile every time I see that picture. He loved that costume.
Then there was the time when he was a teen-ager and had been invited to a Halloween Party. I remember asking him repeatedly if it was a costume party. His answer was an emphatic "Yes, Mom". We worked for hours on his face make-up. He was the best Grimm Reaper at the party. In fact, he was the only Grimm Reaper at the party. Oh, and he was the only one in costume at the party. But it was a great costume.
One year he sat in the rocking chair on the front porch of our house in Virginia, and dressed in some elaborate costume, waited quietly until the kids came to the door and then proceeded to scare the beegeebees out of them. We had such fun that night. (disclaimer: no children were hurt in the elaborate production)
Our sons are now grown and live in distant states with their children. I know we will see many pictures of our grand kids happily scouring the neighborhoods for candy, but it will not be the same as having them approach the door, showing off their "bestest" costume, knowing that Grandmommy and Grandaddy will have something special for them.
We now live in a community where the little trick-or-treaters do not come. Halloween is a little sad for me. I sit with my witches hat on, a pour of cider in my wine glass and look at my plastic pumpkin candy dish just sitting on the counter, waiting for a little hand to reach in to see what treasures it might hold.
Oh well, more Snickers for me :).................. and where is that bottle of wine?
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
A Little Musing..........
As I am adding things to my profile, I realized that it's been a while since I just stopped and thought about the things I like, and I enjoy doing.
Sometimes as we go through the busy day of getting up, showering, getting dressed, makeup on, hair curled or straightened, and make our way to and from work, responsibilities of dinner, laundry, cleaning, on and on, we lose sight of what WE enjoy.
When I come home, the last thing I want to do is cook. But then I remember that I did enjoy cooking. I did enjoy looking for new recipes and new ways to create beautiful meals. So I pull out my 3" binder full of magazine cut out recipes and old handwritten recipes and for a few minutes, remember the joy of cooking when I had time to experiment and try different combinations of herbs and spices. Now I'm lucky to get soup and sandwiches on the table.
I am also remembering how much I love to read. I just can't find the time. I have to read computer printouts, multiple computer screens, emails, Facebook posts, and various sundry things all day that by the time I have a minute to pick up a book, I am so tired that it's just not worth it.
I love to just sit and talk to my husband while sharing a glass of wine. We get into some of the most interesting discussions, but mostly I am listening and he is discussing. But that's ok, he teaches me the outside world while I take care of our inside world. But again, the day seems to get in the way, and the couch and the TV seems to be the most inviting conversations at the end of that day.
So maybe this blog and it's requirements for set-up reminded me that I need to re-prioritize my day, and save some energy for my most important person: ME, so I can be the best I can be for the loves of my life, my husband, my family.
So, let's see......... what am I going to fix for dinner?
Sometimes as we go through the busy day of getting up, showering, getting dressed, makeup on, hair curled or straightened, and make our way to and from work, responsibilities of dinner, laundry, cleaning, on and on, we lose sight of what WE enjoy.
When I come home, the last thing I want to do is cook. But then I remember that I did enjoy cooking. I did enjoy looking for new recipes and new ways to create beautiful meals. So I pull out my 3" binder full of magazine cut out recipes and old handwritten recipes and for a few minutes, remember the joy of cooking when I had time to experiment and try different combinations of herbs and spices. Now I'm lucky to get soup and sandwiches on the table.
I am also remembering how much I love to read. I just can't find the time. I have to read computer printouts, multiple computer screens, emails, Facebook posts, and various sundry things all day that by the time I have a minute to pick up a book, I am so tired that it's just not worth it.
I love to just sit and talk to my husband while sharing a glass of wine. We get into some of the most interesting discussions, but mostly I am listening and he is discussing. But that's ok, he teaches me the outside world while I take care of our inside world. But again, the day seems to get in the way, and the couch and the TV seems to be the most inviting conversations at the end of that day.
So maybe this blog and it's requirements for set-up reminded me that I need to re-prioritize my day, and save some energy for my most important person: ME, so I can be the best I can be for the loves of my life, my husband, my family.
So, let's see......... what am I going to fix for dinner?
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